The Struggle to Start a Family

Many people — when they hear I run a baby clothing line — will ask me if I have kids of my own and when I tell them not yet — they’ll come forth and ask me how I am running a baby clothing business when I don’t have kids? These words used to hurt and make me feel discouraged — but now, these same words have made me stronger. Why must society make us feel that in order to start a business of some sort, you must also need something that is related to it? A part of me has always loved working with kids and giving back to those less fortunate — hence, my love for design and passion to give back is what helped me create the Givesie brand.

I’ll be honest with you guys, I used to be very private about this struggle and wasn’t open about it because I felt I’d be judged. Would people think I did something wrong? Is there something wrong with me? Why is something that is supposed to be so natural for a woman — so difficult for me?

Until having actually gone through this process and realizing how common this is and that so many people/couples are in the same boat as us, I’ve become more open to sharing my story. If it can help one person out there like me, I’ll know I made a difference. YOU are NOT alone in this.

My husband and I have tried to start a family for almost 3 years now. We’ve suffered two miscarriages and I couldn’t even tell you the number of fertility work-ups and doctors’ appointments we’ve been through thus far. Our fertility doctor initially diagnosed us with unexplained infertility and though we were able to get pregnant twice, he was unable to explain to us why we were struggling to carry to full term. It is such a difficult thing to explain and process that only those who have been through it, can truly understand. Having no control over something you want so badly.

For my husband and I, having gone this long with no success — the idea of getting pregnant becomes a fixation. The emotional strain and frustration is hard to explain in words. It is all we think about every month, every week and every day. It’s easier said than done when people will tell us not to worry, stress or think about it so much and let things happen naturally — but when you’re this far along into the journey and still haven’t succeeded — not thinking or stressing about it becomes an understatement.

The last 3 years have been tough to say the least, but the experience has brought my husband and I even closer. We dream of the day that we will become parents …the day we are able to hold our baby in our arms, hear him/her laugh, watch him/her crawl for the first time and see who he/she resembles more, what his/her personality will be like. Some days are harder than others, but we lean on each other and remind ourselves of the other blessings in our life and that this moment that feels like defeat, will soon be in the past. I am constantly reminded — never to give up hope, because something this good is worth fighting for.